Reflections

Reflections (or: Don't Follow Instructions...)

My first ever pointless short story! I got the idea from staring too long at the SCHWA Corporation's Website. Not a good thing to do if you want to keep sane, but as they say: Sanity is Debateable^(C). ;)

The screen flicked up images and words as the Chameleon used his rare amount of time off to take a look at this primative thing the humans called Internet. It was laughable; he could hack into security systems on Puckworld within a minute, it wasn't even a sweat off his scales to get onto the 'Net without paying. Even the Government's files were a piece of cake - usually.

But in fact this sneering ridicule of humanity's low acheivements was really a bit of a mask; Chameleon would never admit that every month he went to the Anaheim Mall to pick up a copy of NETGuide.

NETGuide had given him something interesting to look up. He doubted that whoever wrote it was serious in any way, but it would be far more interesting than, well, anything. Nothing.

Making sure Dragaunus or any of the others had somehow crept up behind him, Chameleon tapped out the name. It took but a few seconds - installing a 264bps modem, carefully crafted so it would work, was useful - and the page came up.

He began reading.

HOW TO RULE A PLANET

STEP ONE: INSTRUCTIONS

  Don't follow instructions.
  Suspect instructions. They are something to be wary of.
  They will write instructions when they want you to do something.
  They want you to do what they want you to do...

But that’s why they’re instructions, he thought.

  ...Instructions are broken down in small steps. When you make small steps, you become a smaller person.
  When you become smaller, you need instructions to tell you where to go and what to do.
  Those who give you instructions are not doing anything. They are instructing you so you can do something for them.
  Suspect instructions. They are something to be wary of.
  Instructions are very detailed and leave nothing to chance. Serendipity is the enemy of the narrow and the organized. Random behavior leads to irregularities. Breakdowns in the system lead to chaos and confusion.
  If everyone is confused, they will have to write many, many more instructions. Don't follow instructions...

Chameleon drummed his fingers absently. They were right; said the tiny part in his brain that rebelled against the other Saurians; Humans might be warm-blooded and have fur and bleed easily, but they had the right idea.

  ...Instructions are something to be wary of.
  If you follow instructions, you cannot do the things you want to do. You do other things instead, the things other people tell you to do.
  When you only listen to others, you cannot speak. Your ideas are trapped behind the door you helped close. You become the instructions.
  They will not have to write any more instructions for you, because you will have reached the end of their instructions.
  Don't follow instructions. Suspect instructions...

His comm bleeped, and then a voice roared

“CHAMELEON!!”

The Chameleon rocketed up out of his chair, slamming a hand down on the button which switched off Internet and his personal Pentium computer.

“Uh, yeah boss?” he asked.

“Get down here this instant, I have some instructions for you.”

Chameleon nodded gloomily, and then a spark of rebellion surfaced in his mind; he didn’t have to go. He could teleport out of here to some tropical island, throw his com away and never have to worry about Dragaunus or the Ducks again.

But the bit of common sense which lurked behind a protective blanket of stupidity came to the fore and doused the notion with cold water.

If he did that, they’d find him like they did the last time - and he wouldn’t have any bulerium crystals to get him out of the danger zone. The manual might be great for someone like Dragaunus with world domination plans, but it never said anything that could be useful for the little henchman who didn’t.

Chameleon sighed, and walked out the doors; if Dragaunus didn’t start demanding why he was late it was gonna be one heck of a shocker.

The End *INSTRUCTIONS is an excerpt from the SCHWA World Operations Manual, and belongs to SCHWA Corporations.*
*No copyright infringement was intended.*